Sunday Blues

Today is my last proper Sunday in uni of this semester, and this year in university. On Friday I, going home for Easter, and after that I'm only coming back for my exams. I have to say I'm glad. Not that university is coming to an end, not by any stretch, but I'm glad that I don't have to bare another Sunday here. There's something about the day that just seems to drag on. I want to be at home cuddled up on the sofa with a coffee waiting for my roast. Instead I'm wasting away my day on Netflix and putting off the work that just won't go away. 

I have a headache, I'm hungry but on a diet and things are just a little bleuh. I need a cuddle and a roast. 

General goings on of Lucy Land

Mothers Day with the family
First things first, over the weekend I celebrated Mother's Day with my one and only, and my brother and I cooked a roast as she does for us most Sundays. It made me realise how much I appreciate her, and how much she does for us. Since moving to university, I have noticed little things i do that i have acquired from her. Some girls hate the thought of turning into their mum, but their are certain traits that I'm glad my mum has passed on to me.

Deadlines Deadlines Deadlines
Back to university today though, and it has hit me like a tonne of bricks that there are just 2 teaching weeks left of this year in university....where the hell has the time gone? It's scaring me a little bit though because it's just a reminder of my looming deadlines. Essays, prose pieces, poetry, reflective journals- you name it I have to do it. There is nothing more stressful than realising that everything I write in the next month or so is going to determine my end of year grade. Having said that, I am in a much better place than this time last year, as TimeHop reminds me, with the year long battle that was my A-Levels. It makes me realise that all the hard work and effort pays off in the end.

Writers Block
I accepted a long time ago the fact that writers block will always creep up on me for the rest of my life. I know that it is entirely psychological, and I work myself up to believe that I can't write anything worth publishing, or even handing in as a draft. The thought of my tutor reading my work amongst other people's makes me think she's just going to laugh about how amateur it is compared to everyone else's. But sometimes all i need to do is go and have a cup of tea, come back and start afresh. This battle with self doubt and realistic approaches is something that every writer entails, and I'm going to have to find ways to overcome the battle if i have any chance of meeting deadlines. I think my main problem is that I know that I am a good writer, and when that doesn't always come across in my work i get frustrated, and worry that I've 'lost my spark' so to speak. My whole degree is counting on me producing a half decent piece of work, and the pressure can sometimes be a little too much to handle.

Ramblings of an English student

I realise I haven’t blogged for a very long time, and for this I can only apologise. It usually takes an overwhelming emotion of some kind to get be back on my blogging horse, and this time is no different. I spent ten days at home, returning back to good ole Manc on Monday, and to my surprise there was more than a few tears.

An emotional goodbye

Having travelled up and down the country to see my family, friends and boyfriend probably a dozen times since September, I thought I had become pretty expert at saying goodbye to everyone. But instead, on Monday morning, I found myself holding back the tears the whole way to Manchester and eventually bursting as soon as my flat door shut, and crying for half an hour, What was wrong with me? I should have been used to this by now, but for some reason I was finding it especially hard this time. Perhaps it was because I had had a lovely valentines with Sam, and a week full of family and bestie time that it all became too much for me. And to be honest, the rest of the week want much better.

A phone call home

All the girls were either going home for the weekend or were doing other things, and the thought of having absolutely nothing to do was enough to tip me over the edge- and I gave my mum a call to try and cheer myself up. Luckily, my amazing mother had the solution to my problem- “get yourself on a train, I’ll pay the fare.” As soon as she said this a smile broke out and suddenly everything seemed a million times better. I got straight online and booked a train for Saturday morning!

My Manc Family

On Thursday after speaking to my mum I went to see the girls. Having already decided we weren’t going to partake in the weekly tradition that is Factory Thurssday, I turned up in a hoodie, not a scrap of makeup on and poufy hair.

“How you feeling- ready to go out?”

That was all the encouragement I needed, and within the hour I was back at their flat, a very strong vodka and redbull in hand ready to go. And this is the exact reason I love uni so much.  There is always someone on hand to cheer you up.

Writing

This term in particular I have noticed a massive development in  my writing. I am a lot more aware of how I am writing, and how I can improve my work. My favourite thing about this course is being able to ready other people’s work on our class forum, and share my own work for feedback. It’s amazing to give someone a piece of work and have some worthwhile feedback, other than ‘yeah, its great.”

Something that I haven’t quite got my head around is editing my work. Don’t ask me why but I find this almost impossible. “But I like that bit” can change pretty quickly to “It’s all shit. Delete it all” in an alarming amount of time. Having said this, my course has actually reassured me that editing is crucial. I guess I was sort of under the impression before I came to uni that every piece of work just needed one draft, and perhaps maybe a few spell checks. But being in uni has taught me that no writer, or in fact very few, have produced a decent piece of work in one go. A few tweaks at the very least is necessary before it’s good. And although the process of editing can be terrifying, by no means does it mean that I am a crap writer. Hell, everyone thinks they’re a crap writer sometimes.

The importance of Friends

I may have said this in a previous blog but coming to university has really made me realise who my actual friends are. Surprisingly, it is exactly as I predicted before moving.

See, my oldest and closest friend has stayed exactly that. Not a day goes by when we don’t speak to each other, and we still somehow know each others every move. Our 3 hour phone calls make my day, and whenever I’m upset she is the first person I speak to.

The friends that I don’t have to text every day to know that they are there are truly special, too. In fact I have a friend (or hopefully too, Jacob) coming to see me next week and I can’t wait for their first visit to Manchester. It just goes to show that you don’t need to speak to or see someone all the time to know that you still have a close friendship. And I know that summer is going to be awesome with everyone back together.

Having said that, there are certain friends that I can go weeks without seeing or speaking to them and it doesn’t have any impact on me, It sounds harsh but some people can very easily slip between the cracks, and it just goes to show the weakness of the friendship in the first place. There is no point hanging on to people like this- if they’re meant to be in your life they will be.