If it's not the same, it's different

I'm exhausted, bleary eyed, disorientated and more hangover than humanly possible, but I'm happy. I've staved off the homesickness momentarily by going up the northern railway track to good old Liverpool to see two of my bestest's. No doubt I drank too much, spent too much and slept too much but it was the nicest weekend I've had in ages. The hectic life that is Liverpool uni got me thinking though.... 

Uni Life

I've made no secret of the fact that university hasn't been what I expected it to be like. This is absolutely 100% not a bad thing, because I actually think the way it has turned out is much better. However, when I went to Liverpool this weekend and stayed in my friends halls, it was the epitome of what I had envisaged in my head. Drinking games, beer bongs, becoming best friends with random people on a night out, throwing up in the street (that was me by the way), is everything i thought my uni life would be like. Don't get me wrong, I have been out alo-oot since I moved to Manchester, but it's been with a more tight-knit, selected group of friends. I absolutely loved my weekend away (as I may have expressed) and I'm so glad I got toe experience that, but honestly- after just 2 days I am absolutely wrecked. I feel like it will take me a week to get over this, and I definitely couldn't do it permanently. It's just not me. 

The two contrasts of university life that have been experienced made me realise that everybody has a different experience with uni, and that's perfectly okay. I'm happy with how my little life has turned out, and am actually glad that I'm not in mainstream halls. It has definitely worked out for the best in more ways than one. 

Family 

Although it was lovely to see some friendly faces this weekend, I am more excited than anything to go home for the entire week on Saturday. Whats better is that I'm stopping off in London for a few days first with my boyfriend to see my aunty and uncle and my best friend- and it can't come quick enough. It means that this time when I'm home I will actually be able to see everyone that I need to, and not have to worry about fitting everyone in in time because I have a whole week to do so. I've had such a busy couple of weeks that I want nothing more right now than to cwtch up on the sofa with a duvet and a cup of tea and watch Friends re-runs all day long. It's going to be complete bliss. Home sweet home. 

Compliment my blog, you compliment me

Because my blog is so personal to me I actually burst with pride if someone compliments it. What makes it better as well is when people who i totally didn't expect to be reading it come up to me or message me and say "I've been reading your blog, it's really good." I get this wave of pride and satisfaction. Last night, by complete chance i ran into a girl who used to go to my school- baring in mind we were in Liverpool at the time and neither of us go to Liverpool university it was a complete coincidence. She said that she'd been reading my blog and she thought that it was amazing, and that people would completely relate to it. I don't think she knows just how much something like that means to me. The whole aim of this blog was to highlight every single high and low point of uni life, to show to people that they aren't going through it on their own, and that not everything is as it seems. When someone recognises this in my writing, it makes me feel as though I am achieving what i set out to do, and that is all any writer can ask for. So if you're reading this now, drop me a message to just let me know what you think of it- it will mean the world to me!

A Revealation

Inspiration, Inspiration, Inspiration

Okay, so it has kind of come to my attention that in my blogs thus far I have not referred to my course an awful lot. This is quite strange,  because I am incredibly passionate about it and what iI have found from it so far. However, I was particularly inspired in todays seminar, so much so that it has urged me to write my second blogpost in 24 hours.
When I came to uni, I knew that I would gradually be learning more and more about writing in different formats- prose, poems, screen play etc. What I didn't anticipate quite as much though is the way in which the lecturers and professors guide you to look at writing from a totally different angle. This is exactly what I experience today. In my seminar the professor made us write a series of statements, each one getting bolder and more ambiguous as we went on- I soon found that I was writing following a theme, and that it was forming into a poem, and a good one at that. When I went back and tweaked it slightly, eliminating unwanted lines and thus more, I was shocked that I had just produced a poem that I ever knew was within my capabilities, without even knowing I was doing so. It totally inspired me, and allowed me to see writing in a different way. Anything at all can be made into a piece of writing, and sometimes it takes someone else's guidance for you to realise this. I came out of the 2 hour seminar feeling uplifted and inspired. It reminded me of why I am here- to bring me one step closer to my goal.
What's more is that I am surrounded by people with the same passions as me, the same interests and its incredible to share that. I'm totally and utterly in love at the moment.

If you opened my fridge, what would you see....
On another note, I m seriously lacking in the domesticated department at the moment. I woke up this morning with the realisation that I actually have very little to eat (unless you count the custard creams in my cupboard.) When I was living at home I took it for granted that there was nearly always pasta, herbs, tomatoes and veg in the cupboards for me to rustle up a quick dinner if needs be. since moving here, though I have realised that I actually have to buy the ingredients in order for me to make the meals.Who knew!!
Whenever I do go food shopping, I like to keep a list with me of the stuff I need. This way I know exactly what I need to buy and I won't spend any unnecessary money on extras (chocolate is the exception to this rule). I also make sure that I shop in cheap supermarkets. Generally speaking the prices in shops around here are quite reasonable, because I'm in such a heavily student populated area. It's also better to make one big meal- chilli, pasta, spaghetti Bolognese, etc, and then freeze it in portion sizes so you can have it for meals throughout the week. It's cheaper than buying ready meals and easier than making a different meal every night. Top tip, right there!

Aint nobody messing with my clique 
I would have thought that spending a weekend at home would qualm the homesickness that I have been feeling. It did in many ways, of course, but I am now missing the people that I didn't get to see when I went home- like my best friend living in London and my friends in Liverpool. I checked out train prices to L'Pool and because I have a railcard (a student essential, trust me) it will only cost me roughly five pound to go and see them. I get pangs every time a kanye west song comes on in a club, or someone says something that I know they would find funny. The friends I have made here are amazing, but none come close to my old mates, I think a night out in Liverpool is needed, and very soon at that.

Home sweet home

So this weekend was my first weekend back home since i moved to university. I pretty much spent the entirety of last week counting down the days, and then the hours, until i was back in "The Diff" for the weekend. I'm so lucky that i have an early finish on a Friday and a lecture at 2pm on Monday so i can make the most of my weekends when i do go home.

Family Time
It was the best feeling in the world to be able to come home to everyone. I started the journey trying incredibly hard not to throw up due to the monstrous hangover I had acquired. But towards the end of the train journey I was on the edge of my seat waiting to pull into Cardiff Central. It was so hard to try and fit everyone in in one small weekend, and fitting everything and everyone in meant that I wasn't able to spend as much time as I would have liked with some people. There was nothing better, though, than sitting in the kitchen sipping on a glass of wine chatting to my mum whilst she was cooking dinner. It was the most amazing feeling, and i soon felt as though i had never been away.

The come down
This morning I was on the train by 8.50 and had my laptop in front of me and the next part of my reading list to be tackled and I felt as though I had come back down to earth with a crash. It was horrible saying goodbye to my boyfriend having had such an amazing weekend together, and the prospect of a 2 hour seminar when I got back to Manchester was not helping my mood. Usually I would be excited to be getting back into the lectures on a Monday, but this morning was a struggle to say the least. What got me through it though was the thought of being able to see everyone again in the next few weeks. Before I came to uni I had no idea how hard or easy it would be to go so long without seeing all my friends and family, and I told myself that I wouldn't be down all the time- but since then I have decided that to go home, or to at least have people coming to visit me, every 3 weeks is achievable and definitely the best way to stay sane. Any longer than that and I will just become miserable, so why put myself through it?

Happy Anniversary
The initial reason for coming down this weekend in particular was for a family christening- it wasn't until later that i realised it just so happened to fall on my boyfriend and I's one year anniversary, which made the weekend that bit more special. I was treated to a very nice meal in Cardiff Bay on Friday night. It made me realise just how special our relationship is. I miss him like made when I'm here in Manchester, but the time we do have together is then so much  more appreciated by both of us that it almost makes it seem worth while. Im lucky to have such a supportive person by my side. (okay, slushy part over now- I'm sorry)

One big hangover
Okay so besides my lovely weekend, what else has been going on with me? Well.... I have practically spent the last 2 weeks either drunk or hungover, and it has taken its toll on me massively. I have sent the last week, coughing, sneezing, spluttering and croaking my way through the day and then drinking too much to think about it in the nights, and my body is now screaming at me to stop. Perhaps now is a good time to make use of the milk thistle tablets my mum strategically gave me before I moved. I'm sorry liver, the worst is over....

Hi Ho, Hi Ho
I can no longer get away from the fact that I need to get myself a job. I spend so much time moaning that I have no money and I'm bored on the weekends, both of which problems could easily be resolved with a little part time thing. So its time to face the music and get myself sorted out. I'm not living in dream world anymore, and student finance is not the answer to all my questions.(apparently).

Getting into the swing of things

I can't quite believe its Thursday already, meaning I have nearly been here for two full weeks! And what an adventure it has been already. with Freshers out of the way I have been looking forward to 'getting stuck in' in terms of the uni work, and having just had a particularly inspiring lesson on creative pros, I am feeling upbeat and confident about my decision to move here.

Why Manchester?
I have been asked countless times since moving here 'so why did you decide to go to manchester then?" and I've mostly just shrugged and mumbled something about the course being good here. I don't actually think I realised the reason until today. Creative writing is such a personalised thing that I don't like to share my experiences with people really (I'm sure this will change during the course) but I always knew that if I did it as a course in university it would have to be in the right place. I visited countless open days and in the end it was between Swansea and Manchester. Swansea had it all, a supposed amazing nightlife, a vibrant student community and amazing scenery to inspire my creativity. It was lovely, but it didn't have that extra spark that Manchester instantly had. I fell in love with Manchester practically as soon as i got here for an open day, and when I visited for  second time I loved it even more. It is an incredible city and has the feeling that you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do. I haven't experienced that with any other university, and I'm lucky to have found that. During my 'structure and story' lesson today this was reinstated. I'm in the best place possible for the best degree possible for me. It reminded me of why I moved 200 miles away from all my friends and family

Finances
Moving away is such a daunting experience in more ways than one and I have to say that I didn't consider all of these factors before I moved. Its scary to me that all of a sudden I have become responsible for my own finances and budgeting, and it was definitely something i didn't prepare for. My student loan has been delayed for a few weeks which has stressed me out, but having organised myself, and knowing what i need to do next in order to solve the issue, I am feeling a lot more comfortable. All of a sudden i feel a lot more grown up, and i had a bit of a 'moment' earlier when i wondered whether i was capable of handling all of this on my own. What i have to remember is that everyone is in the same boat, and i can get through it.

A flying visit
Monday was my boyfriends birthday, and since he spoilt me so much when it was my birthday in July, I felt inexplicably bad for being in Manchester on his birthday. I felt so bad in fact that on Sunday morning I decided I couldn't handle the guilt anymore and I booked a last minute train ticket from manchester to Cardiff. I timed it so that i could leave after my last lecture on monday and be home before my first on tuesday. It meant that I got to see him on his birthday, but also meant that I was only there for the evening and night. It was totally worth the long train journeys in order to see the look on Sam's face when I just wandered into his room. Since I've been back though I have realised just how much I miss him. Last night I hit a wall, and a flood of panic came over me. I asked myself whether I could really manage to be so far away from him for such a long time, but what it has also made me realise is that he is incredibly supportive, and the time we do have together is so much more special to us. Undeniably it is hard, but life always has a way of working out, and I have nothing but good feelings about this one in particular. Distance, it seems, does make the heart grow fonder.

My other love
I dread to see my phone bill, as since i moved here i have practically not gone a day when i haven't spoken to my best friend charlotte on the phone, and it is aways the highlight of my day. i love to hear about the latest dramas going on back home, and it says something that we can be 200 miles away from one another and still make each other smile just the same. Not a day goes by when i don't miss her, or when i don't automatically pick my phone up to ask her if she wants a coffee, before realising that she's not here. I'm counting down the days until i see her again, along with all my other friends and family of course!!