Thinking out loud

Sat here in the Starbucks close to my Uni, gazing around I can't help but feel a sense of pride (despite the unread book next to me, which served as my main reason for being here in the first place). It was in this Starbucks, all those months ago on an open day with my mum that I decided this was the place is I wanted to come to uni. I remember that day so vividly. I had been to swansea open day the previous day and I wanted so badly to prefer that uni. It was closer to home, and thus closer to my boyfriend. Yet the following day, on my second visit to the city I couldn't help but fall in love with the place. I sat on this very table looking at a girl with her laptop in front of her and a coffee in her hand, so clearly a student. I decided that's what I wanted to be doing in months to come. I found myself feeling overcome with emotion at that moment. There was no getting away from the fact that I would have to move away from my boyfriend now. Swansea was close, it was convenient and it was a good uni- just not right for me. Now I'm that girl sipping on a coffee and tapping away. Funny isn't it? 

So did I make the right decision? 

For months I was so scared that I was moving too far from home, that I would hate being in such a busy and big city but here I am, feeling like the cat that got the cream. I have a wonderful group of friends, I love my course more than I ever thought possible, and my relationship is stronger than ever before. I've learnt a valuable lesson through  all of this- sacrifices have to be made sometimes, and often it will work out for the best. Putting my relationship to the test, moving so far away from home and changing my lifestyle completely has made me a stronger person. 

Sorry, it's completely cheesy. 

On a similar note, despite the fact that I love my course, it doesn't come without it's baggage. There's so much work to be done, and so much reading that I can often feel in over my head. Don't get me wrong, I know that it's nowhere near as much work as it will be in the next few years, and I'd certainly take this over to A-levels any day, but it's hard to strike a balance between having a good social life and doing enough uni work. At the moment it's not so much the set work that's dragging me down, it's the further reading and extra work I can be doing that's stressing me. I want to get the best from my degree, and I kinda enjoy being a swat and knowing a lot about the subject we are studying, but in order to that I have to do so much extra work. I guess it will all be worth it in the end. And besides, my excessive list making helps me to organise myself. 

Striking a balance

I haven't blogged for a long time (well a long time for me anyway) and I am looking to rectify this immediately. Its fair to say I've had a rather busy couple of weeks and I feel as though I have turned a corner in the uni world. 

The Lists are Back!

I've taken my obsession with lists to a whole new level this week. I have devised a notice board out of a piece of card, marker pens and post it notes. (My real cork notice board is full of photos!) And on this noticeboard is three categories: Shopping list, uni work, and to do list. I love that I have finally organised myself enough to do this- and to actually keep to it (even if it has taken me nearly two months to do so) because it reduces the chances of me getting stressed when I don't really have to.

A Reality Check

Speaking of getting stressed, I feel as though I did this in true diva style on Thursday. I came out of a seminar feeling as though i had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had forgotten to do the reading for that session (my own fault entirely, I recognise), but on top of that we were assigned a task for our portfolio where we have to write a duolougue, which I have absolutely no experience with whatsoever. This is the one thing I was worried about when I took creative writing as a degree. I am happy and comfortable with prose, and am becoming more acquainted with poetry but I don't have the first clue about mono and duo loges, screenplays and dramatic scenes. I know that this is the whole point of the degree- to gain more experience in the areas that I don't know much about (after all if i already knew it i wouldn't be doing it in university) but the learning process is a long one, and quite frankly daunting. With what felt like a thousand assignments, readings and pieces of writing to do I just wanted to cry when I came out of university on Thursday- and after scoffing some galaxy I did exactly this on the phone to my very patient boyfriend. 

"Lets dust the bullshit off our heels and drink our body weight in vodka"

I'm so lucky that I have a group of friends in Uni that like to drink- a lot!! On thursday, after I had wallowed in self pity for a while I brushed myself off, got ready and drank my body weight in vodka. My friend Hannah was feeling exactly the same as me with the workload for Uni so we were both on the warpath on Thursday night- and we did nothing but laugh all night. It made me realise that you have to take the good with the bad in Uni- that's kind of the point of it! Thank god my friends are bordering alcoholics the same as me. 

Visitors by the coach load

As fabulous as my friends here are, there has been a piece of me missing ever since I parted from all of my old friends in September. I am forever missing every single one of them, but being home for the week and then coming back made me feel ever so slightly lonely. It was fantastic to come back on Monday and have a catch up with everyone, but I couldn't help but feel ever so slightly low. I had had an amazing week with my family, friends (the ones still at home anyway) and my boyfriend and it was so hard to say goodbye to them all over again. However, as I got back into the swing of Uni it became easier (the three nights out in a row have helped a little as well). Besides, I have so many people coming to visit me before I go home for the christmas holidays that time is going to fly by anyway. Sam's coming up for a few days the week after next, then my friend Sian is staying for the weekend, and a week before I go home my mum is coming up to do some christmas shopping. It's nice to have a few things to look forward to- seeing some familiar faces will be exactly what I need!

My Missing Puzzle Piece

As I mentioned, coming home from a week back in Wales was tough, and mostly because it made me miss my boyfriend all over again. It's easier for me when I know when I'm going to see him again, so when I came back to Manchester having had a lovely week with him and not knowing when  I would see him again was especially hard. Needless to say there have been a few tears this week, as I found it hard to readjust to not having him by my side every day. I don't know what it is about Sundays but i aways seem to miss him more- i find myself longing to be lying in my bedroom watching Netflix and eating junk food, or going for a carvery together. Having said that, as a whole it has been considerably easier than I thought it was going to be, in terms of having a long distance relationship whilst I'm in uni. Yes there are days when all I want is a cwtch off him, but our Facetimes and phone calls make it easier-and we never go too long without scheduling a visit to each other. Overall, things are pretty good. Even though he is 200 miles away he can still make me smile every single day and in return I bombard him with late night, incoherent and cringe worthy drunk texts (which he secretly loves).

Until next time, over and out.