Just a hint of self reflection...

It has just hit me that this time next week I will be clear of all exams and coursework, and will have finished my first year of university, and I'm a little bit emotional about it. It's true that it hasn't been what I expected it to be, but this is absolutely fine. It has taught me that sometimes the unexpected is the best thing. I've made some amazing friends, experienced life in a new city and have made memories that will last forever.

It sounds incredibly cliched, and as a writer I endeavour to avoid these like the plague, but uni does really make you realise who you are. I hate to use the term 'find myself' because that immediately sets a scene of me backpacking across Australia with a braid in my hair and a koala bear on my back. Certain things I have learnt about myself are:

-I'm actually quite a feminist. Whether this has been triggered by the endless gropes from strange men in clubs, or just growing up and deciding what i think is right and wrong, I don't know. But either way next year i want to be actively involved in the feminist society in university, as its something I'm quite passionate about. Before uni i hadn't really given it much thought. 

-Hangovers only happen on cheap vodka. This is an important one. Smirnoff may not leave me freshly cut in the morning, but I'm sure as hell better off with that than Glens or the dreaded 'Imperial' vodka. No more cheap paint stripping vodka in 2nd year. Just no.

-My girlfriends are the glue that keep my sanity together. If I'm feeling down, missing home, stressed about assignment or anything else a girl gets emotional about, I know I can just turn to the girls to put a smile on my face and a drink in my hand within seconds. 

-I'm pretty introverted. It takes little for me to be content. I don't need to go out drinking every single night of the week, I tried that for the first month of uni and I think it just proved that month-long hangovers do exist. And freshers flu is very real. This is okay with me though, because it means when I do go out I do it properly. And it gives me time to catch up on the never ending reading list on my course.

-Writing really, really is for me. It's what I do best. I think my biggest fear about uni was turning up and realising that actually I can't write very well, and I'm on the wrong course. Luckily the exact opposite has happened. I'm happier than I've ever been and its down to my course, largely. 

-Long distance relationships do work, and its really not that hard. It just takes effort from both ends, a few hours on the train every now and then and a nightly FaceTime call. Not a day goes by when I don't speak to Sam, and thats the way it should be. It's made me realise how strong we are as a couple, and how right for each other we really are. I love going out, spending time with the girls and doing whatever else I do here, but I know that I wouldn't be half as happy if i didn't have him at the end of a phone whenever I need him. 

-Drinking makes you put on weight. Its really not a myth. Whether its the sugary mixers, the calorific wine and cocktails or the drunken takeaways and hangover cures that do it (or a combination of all of these), it takes it's toll. Go for a walk and eat some lettuce once in a while. Your body will thank you. 

Some are more insightful than others, admittedly, but all of them go to show what an amazing first term in uni I have had. I can't wait for second year to move in with the most amazing girls in the world! This whole uni malarky is going to just keep on getting better. 

Getting into the swing of things

I can't quite believe its Thursday already, meaning I have nearly been here for two full weeks! And what an adventure it has been already. with Freshers out of the way I have been looking forward to 'getting stuck in' in terms of the uni work, and having just had a particularly inspiring lesson on creative pros, I am feeling upbeat and confident about my decision to move here.

Why Manchester?
I have been asked countless times since moving here 'so why did you decide to go to manchester then?" and I've mostly just shrugged and mumbled something about the course being good here. I don't actually think I realised the reason until today. Creative writing is such a personalised thing that I don't like to share my experiences with people really (I'm sure this will change during the course) but I always knew that if I did it as a course in university it would have to be in the right place. I visited countless open days and in the end it was between Swansea and Manchester. Swansea had it all, a supposed amazing nightlife, a vibrant student community and amazing scenery to inspire my creativity. It was lovely, but it didn't have that extra spark that Manchester instantly had. I fell in love with Manchester practically as soon as i got here for an open day, and when I visited for  second time I loved it even more. It is an incredible city and has the feeling that you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do. I haven't experienced that with any other university, and I'm lucky to have found that. During my 'structure and story' lesson today this was reinstated. I'm in the best place possible for the best degree possible for me. It reminded me of why I moved 200 miles away from all my friends and family

Finances
Moving away is such a daunting experience in more ways than one and I have to say that I didn't consider all of these factors before I moved. Its scary to me that all of a sudden I have become responsible for my own finances and budgeting, and it was definitely something i didn't prepare for. My student loan has been delayed for a few weeks which has stressed me out, but having organised myself, and knowing what i need to do next in order to solve the issue, I am feeling a lot more comfortable. All of a sudden i feel a lot more grown up, and i had a bit of a 'moment' earlier when i wondered whether i was capable of handling all of this on my own. What i have to remember is that everyone is in the same boat, and i can get through it.

A flying visit
Monday was my boyfriends birthday, and since he spoilt me so much when it was my birthday in July, I felt inexplicably bad for being in Manchester on his birthday. I felt so bad in fact that on Sunday morning I decided I couldn't handle the guilt anymore and I booked a last minute train ticket from manchester to Cardiff. I timed it so that i could leave after my last lecture on monday and be home before my first on tuesday. It meant that I got to see him on his birthday, but also meant that I was only there for the evening and night. It was totally worth the long train journeys in order to see the look on Sam's face when I just wandered into his room. Since I've been back though I have realised just how much I miss him. Last night I hit a wall, and a flood of panic came over me. I asked myself whether I could really manage to be so far away from him for such a long time, but what it has also made me realise is that he is incredibly supportive, and the time we do have together is so much more special to us. Undeniably it is hard, but life always has a way of working out, and I have nothing but good feelings about this one in particular. Distance, it seems, does make the heart grow fonder.

My other love
I dread to see my phone bill, as since i moved here i have practically not gone a day when i haven't spoken to my best friend charlotte on the phone, and it is aways the highlight of my day. i love to hear about the latest dramas going on back home, and it says something that we can be 200 miles away from one another and still make each other smile just the same. Not a day goes by when i don't miss her, or when i don't automatically pick my phone up to ask her if she wants a coffee, before realising that she's not here. I'm counting down the days until i see her again, along with all my other friends and family of course!!