Yuletide bloggings

I cannot believe that I am about to start the last week of my first term in university. Everyone, absolutely everyone, said "The first term will fly by" and "It'll be christmas before you know it". So many people said this to me that it almost became cliché and I didn't quite believe it. And the first month, as eventful as it was, actually passed by relatively slowly so I began to believe it even less. Not that this mattered. I've been having far too much fun exploring my writing, meeting amazing new people and -most importantly- drinking to even think about christmas. Until recently......

A taste of home
In my last blog I bragged about the people coming to see me in the next couple of weeks. While my friend couldn't make it, 2/3 wasn't bad and it started with a week-long visit from my boyfriend. I was jiggly with excitement at seeing him, and it was the most amazing week ever. We went christmas shopping, went out for food, lay around watching films and generally messed around. It was the exact pick-me-up I needed. For all this uni and home have been separated. It's almost like I have two lives (I know, very 007 of me) and when Sam came to visit me those two lives were merged, and it was very strange indeed. When he went home I had to blink back the tears as he said "see you at christmas." All of a sudden it would go from being in one another's pockets every day for a week to the usual 30 minute face times a day. Christmas was so far away....
The ensuing week was filled with homesickness. It's a weird feeling to be so busy all the time, yet finding yourself moping around. Luckily i still had one more visit to look forward to and that was from my amazing mum. Even though we speak on the phone (the 4 hour phone call will not look good on my bill this month) I have missed the endless gossip and goings-on of my family life. Because it's so close to christmas my mum has been getting the house ready for our visitors and it's strange to not be a part of that. It's the first year I've had to text my christmas list home to my dad rather than sit on his sofa writing it whilst watching the TV, and it's the first year that I wasn't involved in the putting up of the decorations, and it feels weird. It will be so nice to go home at the end of the week and spend 3 whole weeks with everyone I love.

The other family
With all this going on what would I do without my uni family? I dread to think what i will be like over christmas, going 3 weeks without seeing them! I need my drunken nights out, the very loud and eventful pre-drinks, the hungover debate of 'shall we go into uni?" and the 'You will never guess what he's done now!?!" chats. Thank god for FaceTime.
Whenever I have felt homesick or just general low over the last 3 months, it's been these girls that have successfully managed to pick me up again and my uni experience would have been very bland without them!

The reason I'm actually here
Oh yeah, the course! Well, I love it more every single week. It still never fails to amaze me how far I can be pushed creatively, and I love my seminar group as we all share our work and offer feedback on everyone else's. The english part of my degree (rather than the creative writing side) is equally as challenging though. It's really hit me in the lat month or so just how different university level is to A-Levels. We are learning for the sake of educating ourselves further, not to pass an exam, and it's such a refreshing way to learn. I've even found myself going out and voluntarily buying books for further reading because i find it so interesting. I don't know whether I would be able to handle university if I hated the course- it's my love of english that gets me out of bed in the mornings after all.

Striking a balance

I haven't blogged for a long time (well a long time for me anyway) and I am looking to rectify this immediately. Its fair to say I've had a rather busy couple of weeks and I feel as though I have turned a corner in the uni world. 

The Lists are Back!

I've taken my obsession with lists to a whole new level this week. I have devised a notice board out of a piece of card, marker pens and post it notes. (My real cork notice board is full of photos!) And on this noticeboard is three categories: Shopping list, uni work, and to do list. I love that I have finally organised myself enough to do this- and to actually keep to it (even if it has taken me nearly two months to do so) because it reduces the chances of me getting stressed when I don't really have to.

A Reality Check

Speaking of getting stressed, I feel as though I did this in true diva style on Thursday. I came out of a seminar feeling as though i had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had forgotten to do the reading for that session (my own fault entirely, I recognise), but on top of that we were assigned a task for our portfolio where we have to write a duolougue, which I have absolutely no experience with whatsoever. This is the one thing I was worried about when I took creative writing as a degree. I am happy and comfortable with prose, and am becoming more acquainted with poetry but I don't have the first clue about mono and duo loges, screenplays and dramatic scenes. I know that this is the whole point of the degree- to gain more experience in the areas that I don't know much about (after all if i already knew it i wouldn't be doing it in university) but the learning process is a long one, and quite frankly daunting. With what felt like a thousand assignments, readings and pieces of writing to do I just wanted to cry when I came out of university on Thursday- and after scoffing some galaxy I did exactly this on the phone to my very patient boyfriend. 

"Lets dust the bullshit off our heels and drink our body weight in vodka"

I'm so lucky that I have a group of friends in Uni that like to drink- a lot!! On thursday, after I had wallowed in self pity for a while I brushed myself off, got ready and drank my body weight in vodka. My friend Hannah was feeling exactly the same as me with the workload for Uni so we were both on the warpath on Thursday night- and we did nothing but laugh all night. It made me realise that you have to take the good with the bad in Uni- that's kind of the point of it! Thank god my friends are bordering alcoholics the same as me. 

Visitors by the coach load

As fabulous as my friends here are, there has been a piece of me missing ever since I parted from all of my old friends in September. I am forever missing every single one of them, but being home for the week and then coming back made me feel ever so slightly lonely. It was fantastic to come back on Monday and have a catch up with everyone, but I couldn't help but feel ever so slightly low. I had had an amazing week with my family, friends (the ones still at home anyway) and my boyfriend and it was so hard to say goodbye to them all over again. However, as I got back into the swing of Uni it became easier (the three nights out in a row have helped a little as well). Besides, I have so many people coming to visit me before I go home for the christmas holidays that time is going to fly by anyway. Sam's coming up for a few days the week after next, then my friend Sian is staying for the weekend, and a week before I go home my mum is coming up to do some christmas shopping. It's nice to have a few things to look forward to- seeing some familiar faces will be exactly what I need!

My Missing Puzzle Piece

As I mentioned, coming home from a week back in Wales was tough, and mostly because it made me miss my boyfriend all over again. It's easier for me when I know when I'm going to see him again, so when I came back to Manchester having had a lovely week with him and not knowing when  I would see him again was especially hard. Needless to say there have been a few tears this week, as I found it hard to readjust to not having him by my side every day. I don't know what it is about Sundays but i aways seem to miss him more- i find myself longing to be lying in my bedroom watching Netflix and eating junk food, or going for a carvery together. Having said that, as a whole it has been considerably easier than I thought it was going to be, in terms of having a long distance relationship whilst I'm in uni. Yes there are days when all I want is a cwtch off him, but our Facetimes and phone calls make it easier-and we never go too long without scheduling a visit to each other. Overall, things are pretty good. Even though he is 200 miles away he can still make me smile every single day and in return I bombard him with late night, incoherent and cringe worthy drunk texts (which he secretly loves).

Until next time, over and out. 

Week 1: Freshers Flu

I'm just over halfway through my first week in Manchester, and I'm bed ridden with a cold. I have gone out every night this week already, and it seems that freshers flu has come around a little early for me. Keen to see the bright side in every situation, however, it has given me the opportunity to reflect on what has happened so far.

The power of social networking

Making friends is always everyones first worry when it comes to university, and Facebook helps this concern out massively. The university english department set up a Facebook page for all first years to join and ask any questions that they had. This made it a lot easier to be able to see the the of people that were on my course, and get to know some people before I even got there. I noticed that one girl had said that she felt like she was already behind on the reading list, which made me feel a lot better because I felt exactly the same. I added her and we got chatting about the course and the reading list, and we became friends almost instantly. We arranged for us to both go out on the first night, which we did, and it really broke the ice. It meant that we both had someone to go to the welcome lecture with on the monday morning, and it set my mind at ease.

Great Expectations

Having said my rather emotional goodbyes with everybody, and with the car packed to burst it was time to start my journey- literally and figuratively. Having spent almost 4 hours in the car, by the time I got to Manchester I was a ball of nerves (and busting for the loo). There was a mis-hap with my accommodation and rather than being in the commercialised, university halls I had to go into private halls, which means I share a flat with 2nd, 3rd and postgrad students. I was definitely worried about this, but I figured that U would just venture into another flat to find fellow first years. 

However, as soon as I got here it became apparent that this would be harder than anticipated. These private halls are a million miles away from what I expected, and everyone seems to keep themself to themselves. The girls in my flat are really nice- well the ones that I have met are! They hardly come out of their rooms, though and so it is hard, near impossible, to socialise with them. Whilst dis-heartening, I wasn't too worried because I figured I would meet so many other people in uni that I could just go out with them. So, tired but excited to start uni, on the monday morning me and Hannah (Facebook friend) went in to meet the rest of the people on the course. I don't really know what I was expecting, perhaps that I would walk into a room and people would surround me and that we would instantly be best friends, but the reality was incredibly sobering. I struggled my way through 4 or so hours of lectures, personal tutor groups and a bit of waiting around before I returned to my flat and sobbed. I hadn't met many people, and those I had met either didn't want to go out much or had their own group of friends (i.e their flatmates) to go out with. I felt completely alone, and that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. After a motivational talk from my mum 'keep smiling, and go for a walk' I decided that it wasn't the end of the world. It was, after all, only my first full day in Manchester. I think it was the prospect of spending the night alone in my room that made me so upset, and the thought that this was what it would be like. However, shortly after getting off the phone to my mum, a girl who i had met earlier that day text me asking me if i wanted to go out with her and her flatmates. I did, of course, take her up on that offer. We went to a gig, which i thought would be really busy and full of freshers but it turned out to be rather empty, and not a freshers event at all. I was tired, over emotional and out of my comfort zone, so I called it a night and decided that tomorrow was a new day.

Moving on up 

The next morning I made the effort to put on my best smile and force myself to be confident, chatty and inquisitive. For people in the uni halls they made friends naturally, my situation meant that I would have to be more pro-active about it. Now I've been out every night of this week and have been shopping in the city centre with new friends (i have also already opted out of a planned welcome session for my course to go and get drunk in the pub with Hannah). I'm glad to say that although it was a bad start, the best is yet to come for sure. 

Putting my relationship to the test

Moving nearly 200 miles away is hard enough, but it's made that bit harder when I have a boyfriend to think about. being a writer is my ultimate dream, and Manchester is the best place for this to happen. Sacrifices have to be made, and not being able to see my boyfriend every day is one of them. By far, saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing to have to do, but I know that he supports me in what i'm doing, and has done everything he can to help me so far. Already i have doubted whether I am doing the right thing, but only time will tell.